Comments on: Remembering Laura “GunslingerPadme” Jan 10, 1986 – May 3, 2012

By: Jean Marie Ward

Jean Marie Ward — Wed, 19 Sep 2012 02:25:43 +0000

I am so sorry, for you, for her family, and most especially for her. It’s a terrible loss on so many levels. My deepest condolences.

By: Margaret

Margaret — Mon, 10 Sep 2012 21:46:58 +0000

Janine, what a beautiful, heartfelt tribute to your friend. Thank you for sharing. I have to think maybe someone who is struggling like Laura did might come across this and realize they have their own Janine who is there for them. And you know that might not be enough to “save” them, but it doesn’t mean your friendship, your love, means any less.

Of course we so seldom know what’s going on in others’ lives, whether we know them casually or closely. You just felt this blow and yet came to Dragon*Con and were so friendly and smiling the few times I saw you (mainly at the charity auction).

So hugs to you, and true appreciation for your kindness and friendship to Laura and others!

By: Sarah

Sarah — Sat, 08 Sep 2012 07:30:34 +0000

I have not yet read your books, just found them on Amazon, but it referred me here, where I just read about your friend. When I read about your feelings of guilt, I just had to write to you. You see, I suffer from depression-not the same as your friend, exactly, as I only get the lows and the med side-effects-but I have been at, or very close to, the point of suicide myself. Hell, I am almost there right now, because of some personal crap. The thing is, and the reason I wish you would be a little easier on yourself, is that the closer I get to swallowing the pills, or getting out the blade, or whatever, the less likely I am to talk about it. Of course, I don’t talk about it when things are good, either, which means it is easy for me to hide when I am at my lowest-because I DON’T want any help. When I am that low-as I was once, and only someone calling me and catching that something weird was going on (he knew me pretty well, and realized I was saying goodbye) and threatened to go get my husband. The friend was in Submarine School for the U S Navy, and my husband’s submarine was on the same base. I had planned the whole thing out: do some shopping, so the hubby wouldn’t have to worry about it for a while, then still have at least 8 hours before anyone would find me, so there would be no stomach pumping or anything. Actually, the friend, who I will just name by initials, CF, threatened to go UA-Unauthorized Abscence, which is like AWOL, for any readers who don’t know, to come and stop me. CF is gone now; there was a misunderstanding between us, and I lost the friendship, and, last I heard, he was stationed in Bremerton, WA, but I still owe him my life. I am pretty sure that, if not for his phone call that day, I would have died. Things are pretty bad again now; the meds don’t seem to be working, and I can’t seem to want them to anymore. But my heart-sister is living with us now, and now I have a little girl to raise. I just have to keep reminding myself that even a slightly screwed-up mother is better than none. My point is that, even if you had been in contact with your friend almost every day, you still might not have caught on, because if she was that determined, she would have been hiding it from everyone. I know that all people are different, and she may have been nothing like me. But I am willing to bet that she would NOT want you to blame yourself; She sounds like a person who would want you to remember the best things about her, and try to forgive her for leaving you. Sometimes emotional pain, just like physical pain, can just be too much. I hope this helps a little.

By: Jada

Jada — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 21:06:05 +0000

You are in my prayers.

By: One of Laura's teachers

One of Laura's teachers — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 14:52:19 +0000

Laura’s dad sent me this link to read this beautiful tribute. Laura was a very special person and Iwill always miss her smile and laughter. You are a talented writer and I am thankful you chose to write about Laura.sksa

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 13:56:31 +0000

Beautiful….. Laura was my cousin and cherished friend. I didn’t realize you had such a personal connection with Laura. Thank you for the tribute. You say a lot of the things we all feel. Laura is a beautiful soul that will be missed.

By: Darlene Totty

Darlene Totty — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 13:12:36 +0000

Beautiful tribute to a missing piece of your life. I know she will be sorely missed and when you see a post-it note, I’m sure you will think of her with love. I didn’t even know her, but I won’t soon forget her. God Bless you and most especially her Dad.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Fri, 31 Aug 2012 06:02:01 +0000

What a beautiful, sad, and touching tribute to your friend.